On one of my first dates with a girl, we went to a pizza place. While we were ordering at the counter, I must have put my hand in a place where some hot red pepper flakes had been, because when we sat down, I rubbed my eyes, and they proceeded to swell and burn, and I was literally crying my eyes out. I went to the bathroom to try and flush out my eyes. Apparently, while I was in the bathroom (she told me this later) the pizza makers said to my date, “Hey, what’s wrong with your boyfriend?”, to which she quickly responded, “he’s not my boyfriend!” While she may not have known what her feelings were for me then, she must have enjoyed the rest of our date. We saw a movie called Arachnophobia, and for kicks and giggles during tense scary moments, we threw small plastic spiders into the audience. Those were fun times. She eventually agreed to marry me. -Mr. Moyer
I was a junior in college and there was a guy that I knew in passing through a few shared classes. We would say hi to each other, but I didn’t think that the general niceties that I offered him would lead him to believe that I was at all romantically interested in him. One November night in the library, he came up to me while I was studying and said “Hey baby, when you gonna let me take you to McDonald’s and a movie?” The proposed date did not happen. -Ms. Lloyd
When I was in my twenties, I showed up early for a first date and decided to wait in my car until I heard from him. Being on time is important to me, because I value other people’s time. So, I sent a “here!” text about five minutes before we were supposed to meet. No response. “No big deal,” I thought. But a few minutes turned into ten, and then ten turned into fifteen. Figuring he might not be checking his phone, I decided to head inside and wait at the bar. I scanned the room but didn’t see him. I ordered some fries and a drink, trying to play it cool, but after an hour with no sign of him, I called it and went home. Hours later, I finally got a text, turns out he’d been in a minor fender bender on the way. Thankfully, he was fine—but I couldn’t help but think, “How inconsiderate. It takes 30 seconds to send a quick text to let me know!” Needless to say, we never spoke again, and I honestly don’t even remember his name. -Ms. May
This is a first date circa 2004, so I was in my late 20s: He came to pick me up at my house in Manayunk, which was on a narrow, dead-end street. He proudly drove a huge bright metallic orange H1 Hummer, which was too wide fit down the street, so he drove up to my door half on the sidewalk. Then he couldn’t turn the truck around easily, and all my neighbors opened their front doors to see what was going on. On our way to the restaurant, he kept trying to show off how big and sturdy his enormous truck was by intentionally driving on and off the curbs. And he kept awkwardly referencing how much money he made. I think he meant well, but he was trying way too hard to impress me. He wasn’t reading my reactions in conversation, so my interest in him dropped to zero. Not knowing how to extract myself gracefully, I ended up ditching the date. -Ms. Vutz